chiaroscuro

i am in denial of my existence oh that is not to say that i am unaware of my body i am very aware of my body i am aware of how the light lines my silhouette in colors of red and orange and how i fade into the darkness like a softly drawn tear halos that alight on my head washing downwards in a flood of buzzing wings i am frozen i refuse to acknowledge the light can i refuse a shadow can i refuse a light the curse of a chiaroscuro existence forever shadowed forever lit never to come out full into the light or to retreat wholly into the blackness and so i clutch my arms and i don't look at myself i just look forward to where the shadows and the light meld like a song that sounds like acceptance.

I fall for the ones in trouble What can I say They are just snaps in sparks That make my entire day It's not a reputable thing To pine for the devious But to pass up a rosy opportunity That would be truly grevious If I were to live an ivory tower life Gilded and pinned and breathless How can I live a life like that And not be a decoration--worthless Seizing the spark, carrying the flame Playing with fire, carpe diem It's trite and it's foolish I know But they're irresistible, I just fall for them So if you can, write me a letter Admonish me, scold me, beg me But I'll probably be tossing on the wind In the arms of a devil-may-care smirk, free.