leashed

twenty-one chains linking us from wrist to wrist

you were a sun, a star, impossible to resist

i trailed behind you in awe of your fetching splendor

never understanding who the chains were meant for

we walked on precipices and sky bridges made of laughter

we ran, we danced, we cavorted, feckless, there was no "after"

because we were short sighted creatures, we never considered the horizon

we thrived on the deepest wines, the freest songs, the sweetest poisons

one day, you ran ahead, and i tumbled behind

twenty one chains, bringing me down, immovable and unkind

your chariot blazed forth and i screamed for it to stop

but there was nothing but the unending wheels and the grinning mob

i ate dust, my eyes were blinded, i swallowed blood

tangled in a web made out of veins and mud

i lost my voice in the overwhelming silence of your disregard

leaving what was left of my body irrevocably scarred

it took me twenty one scars to break the twenty one chains

and even when i was myself again, i still feared the raw flames

that licked and kneaded at the soles of my feet, my hands, my eyes

it was easy to knot the chains, but irreversible to break your ties

i am still leashed to you, bound to the remnants of your soul

i wish i could forget the cavorting days of feckless laughter

but even as the scars throb and feather out from the base of my skull and outwards

i remind myself what you are, and how lucky i was to have even broken free.