January Poetry Diary Entries

I took a breath of stagnant fear and glee

And pretended to possess something beyond gray matter

I dove through a synthetic tapestry

And emerged scored with claws

It was a cathartic moment

That realization that I was more than flesh

I was half soul and half beast

Making love to Earth and divinity alike

So I took the dagger of the moon

And cut a piece of the sky's flesh

And that night I made a feast of the Galaxy

The egregious mistake; my hubris

Is it possible to inbibe pleasure?

Some might violently disagree

But I prefer to flirt with danger

The one who smirks into the kiss

They prance and play on the waters

Frothing and laughing and sighing

Some siren calls them home and

The dream ends and I wake in salt

The scraping of teeth over a vein

Watching the pulse jump in the skin

Feathering fingers over my heart

It's a carnal symphony and I revel in it

They see halos and I see tridents

Weathering the storm of a weeping lady

There were no more cards to play

My gown was a sleeveless one

I treked for days in the howling wilderness

Hooded eyes and frostbitten lips

I had a hope like a fluttering bird

Hidden within my cold bleak chest

The globule of light flit onward

Like a fairy guide who wants to play

But they fly straight over a yawning chasm

And laugh as I fall down the bottomless pit

They prance upon the wall

Groomed like royalty acting like

Fake peasantry

Watch them weave in the warp and woof

That inconspicuous rolling hell

Metal tumblers making din and noise

Craniums denting under metal tubes

Strangled choked dying breathing

I held blood in my heart

They wreathed around me like a lover

No life is completely free of blood

Life liquid and death water

I am drowning in a sea of sand

Gasping as the laughter grates

Around me

There is nowhere to hide

Familiar faces twisted to rags

My heart an organ of self destruction

Who am I to judge

If I cannot understand any longer?

Shall I return to old haunts

Where the ghosts of the past lurk

Where darkness is sentient

And I am helpless under the ropes?

There once was a path where a terrified girl trod

It doubles around and backward

I am riding a possessed steed

No one is holding the reins

My heart is too tender to cut

They say ignorance is bliss

I beg to differ

For my back is already scored

Take me to a place where I am found

Definition of passion

Sing and croon and hum

Our very own lullaby

Insignia of the day

Golden straws and silver needles

Electric soul

Roll my unconscious body home

Fields of the red poppy

Fields of the green leaf

Sleep for the world

But no rest

Your heart is a treble clef

I want to sing your heart

But there is no such thing

As masks on an organ

Blinded with everything but blindness

I stumble through life

Taking the leap of faith

With every step

Cry of my heart

Wailing soul of doubt

Can you hold me

And tell me it's alright

The moon is full like a balloon

Letters uncapitalized soar like stars

A woman with old eyes and wry smiles

I take you hand in hand

Spilling sunlight in my palm

Luscious music luscious warmth

Voice cords that tremble with longing

Why is there only sixty

Mahogany eyes giggle at me

They twinkle with suppressed emotion

Peel open your heart and show me your veins

For I am no interpreter

Chapped and rubbed raw

I brood in the corner with a glinted eye

For though they take pity on me

In truth I am laughing at them all

It's a bitter sort of laughter, and heaven knows why

I ponder myself why such things happen

But I let them go without reluctantance

For all must fade and perish eventually

I decided to world dive the other day

To see the pearly pebbles at the summit

And as I swim and best against the tide

I can feel I will never make any progress any more

Chain reactions  I cause

Dominoes of decision tumble forward

One thing I say

And the whole blasted link falls over

Golden eyes and a careful smile

I learn to take things in stride

But as he speaks and I as listen

The harder and deeper I fall

Giddy with glee that is a borrowed sort

I spin with the delirious delicious joy

Of a love that will never be mine

No matter how hard I will always be flying solo

I revel and embrace the solitude loneliness brings

And I watch them, the boy and the girl

And I laugh and laugh at the way their hands connect

The way his hand envelopes her own

This lot is not my lot

I've known that for life

And yet every time he smiles

I cannot help but pine

Floating on a cloud of nothing

Making mountains out of molehills

There is always too much to do

And so little time.